February 17, 2018

The Challenge of Being in a Service Business

Last month, on January 21, 2018, I celebrated the 35th anniversary of the opening my law practice. I graduated from law school in May 1982, and received my license to practice law in November 1982. Two months later, on January 21, 1983, I rented an office from an established Peoria attorney.

Nine years later (1992), I hired my first associate attorney. At that time, I was 35 years old. The attorney that I hired was 10 years younger than me, and had just graduated from law school.

At the time that I hired the attorney, I had an office manager, two full-time secretaries, a full-time receptionist, and a part-time secretary. Hiring an attorney was a big step for me, and I didn’t feel as though I knew enough about running a business to continue to move forward without some assistance.

The same year that I hired the attorney, I signed a contract with Gerber Business Development Corporation to provide me with coaching on how to properly run and grow my business. I had committed to paying the attorney a large salary and I didn’t want to make any catastrophic mistakes in managing and growing my law firm.

I found out about the Gerber company when I read a book that was written by its founder, Michael Gerber. The title of the book was, The E-Myth: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It. What Gerber said in his book about small businesses in America hit a raw nerve with me.

I had previously represented several business clients who had done well for a while and then, for one reason or another, had made mistakes that caused their businesses to fail. I had also handled several bankruptcies for individuals who had failed in their own businesses. Many of the businessmen that Gerber wrote about in his book reminded me of my own clients and their failure to succeed in their businesses.

February 10, 2018

The Death of a Special Christ-Like Priest

Georgette and I met on August 4, 1978, when we were both 21 years old. We were married in June 1980, while I was on break from law school. Ten months later, in March 1981, we had our first child, Harry. I graduated from law school in May of the following year.

We moved back to Peoria during the summer of 1982. At that time, Georgette was pregnant with our second child, Anna. I started my law practice in January 1983, and Anna was born the following month. We had our third child, Maria, 13 months later, in March 1984. When Maria was born, I was 26 years old.

It was during this period of time that my mom and my sister Colleen started commenting about how I had become too serious and I needed to lighten up. Colleen is a year and a half younger than me, and of my eight sisters, she was the one I was closest to while we were growing up.

When my mom and sister told me that I had become too serious, I hadn’t realized that my behavior had changed from the young, carefree guy who liked to have a good time and tease other people to an older guy who felt overwhelmed by the burdens of life.

But I wasn’t bothered by their comments about my being too serious. To me, that was what responsible adults did — they grew up and did their best to care for and support their families. In some respects, my mom and my sister were correct. My newfound responsibilities made me feel overwhelmed. At times, I felt as though I was doing well just to keep my head above water. Georgette and I had three babies in three years — Maria was born on Harry’s third birthday — and I was doing my best to support my family while managing my law practice.

Now, more than 30 years later, Georgette and I have 13 grandchildren, with three more on the way. I’m still serious, but I’m having more fun now than I’ve had in years. I’ve given myself permission to lighten up and revert to my childhood when I’m around my grandchildren. Their parents sometimes get irritated with me because they think I get their children riled up too much. But that’s OK with me, because I’m finally able to do what my mom and my sister wanted me to do all those years ago.

February 3, 2018

A Dream & The Greatest Showman

I recently joined my wife and some of our children at a local theater to see the movie, The Greatest Showman. The movie is a musical about the life of P.T. Barnum. It begins when Barnum is a boy. He is the son of a poor tailor who does work for a wealthy man. The man looks down on Barnum and his father, because of their lower-class status.

Barnum is a fun-loving boy who is infatuated with the wealthy man’s daughter. The man knows that Barnum likes his daughter and makes it clear to Barnum that he’ll never be good enough for her. After that, the daughter is sent to finishing school for several years. While she is away at school, she and Barnum continue to keep in contact by writing letters to each other.

Years later, when the daughter returns home from school, she is reunited with Barnum. They end up getting married and starting a family. After borrowing money from a local bank, Barnum buys an old museum building in downtown Manhattan. He then sets up Barnum’s American Museum, which showcases wax figures.

After struggling to make his new business work, Barnum’s children tell him that instead of featuring wax figures, he needs to have characters who are “alive.” Barnum likes the idea and begins searching for and hiring “freaks” to serve as performers. As he is rounding up his new cast of characters, Barnum sings the unique and mesmerizing song, Come Alive.

As Barnum’s new show gains popularity in New York, a reporter for the New York Herald is highly critical of Barnum and his “freak show.” The reporter’s columns about Barnum and his show stir up trouble among certain people in the community, including the upper-class members of the community.

To enhance his reputation with the upper-class, Barnum convinces Philip Carlisle, a local playwright from a wealthy family, to join him in his business. To raise Barnum’s status, Carlisle arranges a trip to Europe for Barnum and his cast of characters to meet Queen Victoria.

January 27, 2018

Why is That Church in a Music Video?

I’ve written before about how I was involved in music during my high school and college years. When I was a senior in high school, I formed a barbershop quartet with three of my friends. I did the same thing in college. While my high school quartet had a limited number of performances, my college quartet performed at several community functions and events.

I’ve always been a big fan of quartets and other a cappella groups. One of the groups that I currently pay attention to is Home Free, an American a cappella singing group that consists of five young men. Home Free got its big break in 2013, when it won a competition on the NBC television show, The Sing-Off. The grand prize that year was $100,000, plus a recording contract with Sony.

Last month, Home Free performed at the Peoria Civic Center. Georgette and I attended the show with some friends. My favorite Home Free song is How Great Thou Art. The music video of the song is posted on YouTube. The video has generated more than 13 million views.

In the video, the group is standing on a hill that is surrounded by several hundred acres of land. The scenery in the background includes cascading slopes and mountains. The beautiful harmony of the group is matched by the gorgeous land that surrounds them. The only building in the video is a small country church, which shows up in a field near the end of the video.

I have the video saved on an iPad that sits on a stand on my bathroom counter. Ordinarily, when I’m in the bathroom in the morning getting ready for work, I use the iPad to play educational, self-improvement, or religious recordings. In the evening while I’m getting ready for bed, I usually use the iPad to listen to music.

My son, Harry, and his wife Kathryn live about five minutes away from where my wife and I live. Because they live so close to us, they’re able to stop by our house to visit on a regular basis. Whenever they stop by for a visit, their two oldest sons, Harry and Liam, immediately start looking around the house for me. Harry is 5 years old and Liam is 3 years old.

January 20, 2018

Why Is It So Hard To Practice Patience?

It doesn’t happen very often, but every once in a while, I complain directly to God about something that’s bothering me. Last week, my frustration with an ongoing issue finally got to the point that one of my thoughts went up to God in the form of a question: Why can’t you just have an angel appear to me in a dream and tell me what to do? I’m tired of playing these cat and mouse games where I’m always struggling to try to figure out what I should do.

Of course, I immediately felt guilty about addressing God in this manner. Who did I think I was? A prophet? King Solomon? Saint Joseph?

But I get extremely frustrated at times, because while I want to do the right thing, I often feel as though I need specific direction from God. Although I’ve always been good at solving problems, I don’t like it when I have to wait on God to reveal pieces of the puzzle that are needed to solve the problem I’m struggling with.

I’m convinced that one of the primary reasons God operates this way is to teach me the virtues of humility and patience. If He sent an angel to tell me how to solve my problems, I wouldn’t need to learn and practice humility and patience. I would simply wait for instructions from the angel and then take credit for being a special child of God.

Most of us fail to realize that in order to really be humble, we must first suffer humiliations. And we must accept whatever humiliations that come our way with love and gratitude. While humility is the most important of all virtues, the virtue of patience has to be among the top five virtues. Why? Because it’s so difficult to put into practice.

Last week, I wrote about the three grades of patience, which are, to bear difficulties without interior complaint, to use hardships to make progress in virtue, and to desire the cross and afflictions out of love for God and accept them with spiritual joy. It would be impossible to put the three grades of patience into practice if we were to try to do it without God’s assistance.

January 13, 2018

The Difficulties That Arise After Years of Marriage

Last week, I wrote about a couple who was having financial problems because of the husband’s inability to work. Here’s what I wrote at the end of the article:
I’ve been a lawyer for more than 35 years. I’ve dealt with hundreds of couples who, after years of marriage, are facing an unexpected crisis. You would think that after being married for 20 or more years, married couples would be more patient and forgiving of each other than they were when they were newly married. But that’s usually not the case. The fact that they’ve spent years together seems to somehow inhibit their ability to practice real patience and forgiveness toward each other.

Instead of being patient and forgiving, they’re extremely frustrated and angry with each other. Why?

When couples get married, there’s always great hope for the future. With that hope comes the expectation that they will be able to work out all their problems. There is also an expectation that they will someday be able to overcome whatever bad habits or deficiencies they have.

Unfortunately, as each year passes, nothing really changes. Husbands and wives stop making the effort that is required to please each other. It’s almost as if they’ve been through too much together. They’re worn out and exhausted. They’ve run out of patience.

I’ve written before about a saying that is common in the business world: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” This saying stands for the proposition that the more familiar you are with a person, the more contemptible that person becomes.

Over time, as people in the business world become more familiar with each other, their defects and weaknesses become more evident. They are exposed to and become tired of each other’s excuses, bad habits, broken promises, lack of respect, mood swings, angry outbursts, and lack of appreciation. Before long, their patience wears thin, and the slightest infraction causes them to treat each other with contempt.

January 6, 2018

Something Married Couples Face After Years of Marriage

Last week, I had an appointment with a man — I’ll call him Jim — who hired me eight months ago to represent him on a personal injury case. As usual, Jim brought his wife with him to the appointment. I’ve met with Jim and his wife on four occasions over the past eight months. Jim was injured when a large truck disregarded a stop sign and collided with his vehicle in the middle of an intersection. Because of his injuries, Jim has not been able to return to work. He’s been without an income for eight months.

Jim and his wife are in their late 30s. He’s a skilled tradesman who has been a member of a trade union for more than 20 years. Jim has never had any problem finding work, primarily because he is willing to travel to other states to work, when necessary. Since the accident, Jim’s financial situation has become progressively worse. He has had to borrow money to support his wife and children, and he also recently cashed in part of his retirement, so he could keep up with his bills.

Prior to the accident, Jim’s wife did not work outside the home. A few months after the accident, she felt that she had no other choice but to get a job, so she applied for and secured a job at a local business.

Each of the times I’ve met with Jim, he’s been upbeat and happy. He’s an intelligent, good-natured person who likes to talk and tell stories. His wife has come to all his appointments and has always been courteous and friendly — until last week.

Last week, when I entered the conference room to meet with them, Jim was the same as he’s always been, but his wife was quiet and had an angry look on her face. Her demeanor indicated to me that she and Jim either argued on the way to my office, or she was fed up with his situation.

I talked to Jim about his condition and he indicated to me that he was still receiving physical therapy three times a week. He said that he probably wasn’t going to be able to return to work for at least another 10 to 12 months. He told me that before the accident, he worked at the same trade for 20 years.

December 30, 2017

What Did Mary Really Know?

Every year during the Christmas Season, there are articles published that are critical of the song, Mary Did You Know. As expected, in early December, Fr. Robert McTeigue, SJ, published an article with the title, “The Problem With ‘Mary Did You Know.’” In the article, Fr. McTeigue criticized the following lyrics: “Did you know that your Baby Boy has come to make you new? This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.”

Fr. McTeigue’s complaint was that the lyrics imply that Mary was a sinner who needed to be delivered from her sins. This is contrary to Catholic doctrine which states that Mary was preserved free from all stain of original sin from the moment of her immaculate conception, which allowed her to be a pure vessel in which the Son of God could be conceived and born without ever having come into contact with sin.

Another article that was published before Christmas stated that the song implies that Mary was not fully aware that she was the mother of God. The article went on to say that anyone who is familiar with the Bible knows that Mary possessed knowledge that she was the Mother of God, not only because of the Angel Gabriel’s announcement (Luke 1:26-56), but also because of her “song of praise” — known as “The Magnificat” — which indicated that she was aware of her role in the salvation of mankind. Here are the first two sentences of the Magnificat:

My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his handmaid. For behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed; for he who is mighty, has done great things for me and holy is his name. (Luke 1:46-49)

Whenever I read anything about the life of Mary, I think about a book that I read in the early 1980s, while I was in law school. The title of the book was, The Life of The Blessed Virgin Mary. The content for the book was taken from the recorded visions of the well-known 19th-century Catholic mystic, Venerable Anne Catherine Emmerich (1774 – 1824).

December 26, 2009

A New Kind Of Diet For 2010

ScaleLast week when I stopped at the bank to deposit a check, I noticed a stack of free newspapers on a table next to the entrance doors.  The newspapers were titled: Ladies First, Central Illinois Edition.  I had never seen the Ladies First newspaper and was curious as to whether there were any attorneys who were advertising in it, so I picked one up and started paging through it.

The newspaper was tabloid size (11” x 17”), consisted of 20 pages, and was printed in black and white, except for the first page which was printed in color.  There were a lot more advertisers than I expected, and yes, there was one attorney who was advertising his services.

On pages 14 and 15 of the newspaper, there was what appeared to be full page article about a new weight loss product.  I say “appeared” because I think the article was actually a paid advertisement, because there was no author attributed to the article (like the rest of the articles in the publication).

The article/ad included two sets of before-and-after pictures, with testimonials.  The first set of pictures showed “Terry A-Peoria, IL,” a 63 year old woman who claimed she lost 50 pounds in 22 weeks.  There was something very odd about Terry’s before-and-after pictures.  It didn’t appear from the pictures that she had lost any weight.  She was obviously obese and looked exactly the same in both pictures.  I stared at both pictures in disbelief.  One question that popped into my mind was: “Why did they use her pictures to advertise their weight loss product?  She looks just as big in the second picture as she does in the first.”

I felt like I was looking at a set of those mind-game pictures where the artist makes six slight changes to the second picture and you’re suppose to find and circle the changes in the second picture.  You know what I’m talking about don’t you?  An example would be: Two pictures of a little boy standing outdoors next to a window.  The second picture shows his shorts a little longer than what is shown in the first picture, there’s an extra branch on the tree in the second picture, etc.

December 19, 2009

Are They Really Your “Friends”?

facebookThere is one question I’ve been asked more frequently during the past year than any other question that’s ever been asked of me: “Are you on Facebook?”  For those of you who are interested in knowing the answer, it’s… No.

As I am with everything else, I’m very curious about the whole Facebook phenomenon, but at this point in my life, I would have to steal the time from more important activities in order to get up to speed on how to use it.  After that, I would have to steal more time to go online every day to see what’s new with my “friends.” 

While I do believe that Facebook has some worthwhile features and benefits, I am growing more and more concerned about how it’s being used by the younger members of our families.

Last Sunday while I was having lunch with my family, one of my daughters told me that it has become a common practice for people to write letters to inanimate objects on their Facebook page.  Here’s an example of one such letter:

“Dear snow.  Although I’m happy to see you have returned just in time for the Christmas season, I’m troubled by the fact that you have made it more difficult for me to drive safely to and from school.  In addition, you have unfortunately brought with you extremely cold gusts of wind which prohibit me from enjoying my usual winter outdoor activities.  Sigh.  Next time you visit the earth, please be considerate of my needs and desires.  I hope to see you again soon.”

I was dumbfounded.  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I told her.  “People aren’t really doing that are they?  I can’t believe they would waste their time by posting such meaningless comments.” 

My daughter actually started defending this bizarre practice, and then backed off because I think she realized that if she continued to argue her case, she would live to regret it.

December 12, 2009

A Lesson From America’s Greatest Business Philosopher

Jim Rohn

Jim Rohn

About 10 years ago I purchased a tape set called The Weekend Seminar.  It was comprised of several tapes that were recorded at a seminar that had been put on by Jim Rohn.  At that time, Jim Rohn was well known among professional speakers.  He was a member of the National Speakers Association and had won its top award for outstanding performance and professionalism in speaking.

Over the past 25 years, I’ve spent a lot of money on audio programs – first by purchasing cassette tapes, then CD’s, and now mp3’s that can be downloaded to my iPod.  (As a side note, I bought my iPod about 3 years ago and I’m still amazed by the fact that I can transfer audio recordings from thousands of tapes and CD’s onto one little device that is smaller than a pack of cigarettes.)

Over the years, there have only been a handful of speakers that I have repeatedly given money to by purchasing their newly released audio (and video) recordings.  Jim Rohn was one of those speakers.  Some of the other tape and CD sets I purchased from his company included: The Challenge To Succeed, Take Charge of Your Life, and Cultivating An Unshakable Character.

For over 45 years, Jim shared his experience and wisdom with audiences all over the world.  In the self-improvement arena, he was known as “America’s Greatest Business Philosopher.”  He taught about the fundamentals of human behavior and how those fundamentals could be used to improve a person’s personal and business performance.  He had a unique ability to teach and inspire others.  To this day, every time I re-listen to one of his tapes or CD’s, I gain several new insights, even though I may have listened to the same recording on several previous occasions.

I have a book at home by Jim titled, The Treasury of Quotes.  Included in the book are 365 quotes on 60 different topics that were gathered from his personal journals, seminars, and books.  Jim was a master at taking a profound concept or insight and reducing it to a simple quote.  Here are some of my favorite Jim Rohn quotes:

December 8, 2009

It’s Tiger Hunting Season

Tiger WoodsIf you pay any attention to sports, Internet news sites, or television, you already know what’s going on with Tiger Woods.  On Friday, November 27th at approximately 2:25 a.m., Tiger crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a neighbor’s tree.

When the police arrived, they found him lying on the ground with his wife, Elin, by his side.  He was unconscious and had blood on his lips.  His wife reportedly told the police that she had busted out the back window of his vehicle with a golf club in order to get him out of the vehicle.

Within hours of the accident being reported, the media was speculating that Tiger had gotten into a fight with his wife, got into his vehicle to drive away, and was then chased by his wife who broke out the back window of the vehicle with a golf club, causing Tiger to lose control of his vehicle.

The day after the accident, the National Enquirer reported on its web site that it had proof that Tiger had been cheating on his wife for several months, and that the accident occurred after Tiger got into a fight with his wife.  The story, which provided the name of the other woman, was immediately picked up by other Internet news and celebrity sites.  After that, a whole flurry of reporters started digging for dirt on Tiger.  Tiger subsequently posted a message on his web site denying that he had been unfaithful to his wife.

Two days after the accident, Us magazine ran an article on its web site that revealed the name of a second woman who claimed she had been involved with Tiger.  She provided a recording of a voicemail message that was allegedly left by Tiger on her cell phone the Tuesday before the accident.  The recording of the message was posted on the magazine’s web site and was then picked up by hundreds of other web sites.  The person in the message identified himself as “Tiger” and stated that his wife suspected that he was having an affair and that she might call the cell phone number to see who the number belonged to.