Her name is Meredith Golden. She’s 43 years old and lives in New York with her husband and two sons. She has a master’s degree in social work from New York University. According to a recent article in The New York Times, Golden is a professional dating app ghostwriter. The article provided the following summary of what services Golden offers to her clients:
After I published last week’s article about the 60th anniversary of the Barbie doll, my mom called me on my cell phone. I wasn’t available when she called, so she left a message. In the message, she said that she had read my article and that in addition to her concern about her daughters’ self-images being affected by the Barbie doll, she was also concerned that with the introduction of a teenage, sexualized version of a doll, there would never be a return to the days when young girls were encouraged to play with baby dolls.
I ordinarily attend daily Mass at Sacred Heart Church in downtown Peoria. Last Monday (March 25), I saw my parents at noon Mass and talked to them after the Mass. My mom told me that it was the 58th anniversary of her consecration to the Mother of God. I knew that she had made her consecration years ago, but I was not aware of the actual date.
He also allowed me to use his secretary to prepare legal documents in exchange for an agreed-upon hourly rate for her services. It was a great deal for me because I did not have to endure the financial burden of paying a full-time staff person and other office-related expenses.
I rented from that first lawyer until the fall of 1984. That’s when his lease expired, and he and his family moved to Colorado. I then rented an office from a group of four lawyers who had recently formed a partnership.
My agreement with the lawyers was the same as the first lawyer. I paid a flat monthly rent in exchange for an office and telephone answering, and I paid an hourly rate for the use of one of their secretaries. That relationship ended in the fall of 2006, after the four lawyers decided that they didn’t like each other anymore and terminated their partnership.
At that point in my career, I felt as though I had enough legal work and cash flow to sign a lease and rent my own office space. I ended up working out a deal with a landlord who had recently renovated an old building in downtown Peoria. The man that I rented from — I’ll call him Larry — owned several businesses and had recently purchased the building that he had remodeled. He had 10 employees who occupied a large office suite on the first floor of the building.
Larry agreed to allow me to do the same thing that I had done with the first two offices that I had rented — install my telephone system so that one phone was in the area where his receptionist answered his phones, and a telephone in the office that I was renting in another part of the building. Larry had recently hired a woman — her name was Geri Abele — who was in her mid-thirties.
She had previously worked for one of the top trial lawyers in Peoria. She had stopped working for the lawyer when she was pregnant with her first daughter. A couple of years after her daughter was born, she had a second daughter. She took care of her two daughters until they were in school, and then decided that it was time to get back into the workforce. That’s when Larry hired her to work full time for him.
Because Larry did not have enough work to keep Geri busy on a full-time basis, he offered me the opportunity to have Geri worked for me for 20 hours a week. He agreed to take care of her payroll taxes, and I agreed to pay him a set hourly rate for the time that Geri worked for me.
During the 20 hours that she worked for me, Geri sat in the reception area of my office and worked. During the 20 hours that she worked for Larry, she sat in the reception area of his office and worked for him. While she worked in his office, she continued to answer the telephone that I had set up in his office.
After about 18 months, I was at the point where I needed Geri to work for me full time. She liked the type of work that she was doing for me and preferred my office to Larry’s office. I offered her a full-time position, and she accepted on the condition that I would work everything out with Larry.
It just so happened that at that time a couple of Larry’s businesses had slowed down, and he didn’t need Geri for the 20 hours a week that she was working for him. I talked to Larry and it was obvious that he was irritated with me for “stealing” his employee, but he took it all in good stride because he realized that it was going to ultimately benefit him to have one less person on his payroll.
It was a great blessing for me that I was able to ease Geri into a full-time position with my office. When I started my law practice, I had made the Mother of God my “silent partner” and I had asked her to guide me in the operation of my law practice and career. I’ve always felt that it was my “partner” who always saw to it that I was able to find top-rate employees for my law practice.
Over the next several years, Geri took on more and more responsibility and eventually became my office manager. At one point, I had two lawyers working for me and eight other employees. Geri worked for me for a total of 26 years. She retired in 2013, at the age of 65. By then, her daughters were married and had children of their own, and Geri had made the decision that she wanted to spend more time with her grandchildren.
On Wednesday, March 13, 2019, I received a text message from one of Geri’s daughters. The message said that Geri had passed away. She was 71. I had learned a few months earlier that Geri had been diagnosed with cancer that had spread through her spine and into her brain. The cancer was so advanced that treatment didn’t do her any good.
When I found out about Geri’s cancer diagnosis, I called her husband Ray and set up a time for me to stop by their house to see Geri. When I arrived at the house, Geri was sitting in the living room. When I walked over to her, she said, “Hi Harry, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be able to come into the office tomorrow.” I immediately responded, “Yes, I know, but I wish you could come to work tomorrow. We could really use your help.”
She looked as though she was wishing she could turn back the clock. She knew exactly what she was saying when she said she wasn’t going to be able to come into the office. It was her way of using humor to break the ice and make light of the fact that she was dying.
I then handed her a framed color picture of the Divine Mercy. When she looked at the picture, her face lit up, and she said, “Last weekend I was looking for a picture like this — a picture which showed the heart of Jesus.” While the Divine Mercy picture does not show Jesus’s heart, it does show His left hand touching His chest where His heart is located. Where He is touching, there are two rays of light streaming from his heart — a red ray and a white ray.
The red ray represents the blood that He shed for our sins and the white ray represents the salvation that He won for each of us by His death on the cross. Geri had not been able to find the picture she was looking for. She told me that the picture that I gave her was an answer to her prayers.
We visited for about 30 minutes. She was fully aware of the fact that she did not have very long to live, and she told me that she was looking forward to meeting our Lord. We talked about her family and my family. It was like old times. She, of course, had the same mannerisms and lively sense of humor that she always had. While there were a few times when she lost her train of thought, she was very much aware of what she was saying and in tune with our conversation.
I asked her if anyone had contacted her parish priest to come to her house to give her the Sacrament of the Sick, and she said no. She was an only child who had been raised Catholic. I offered to contact her priest and make the arrangements for him to come to her house. She was grateful for the offer, and I later contacted the priest and arranged to pick him up and take him to Geri’s house.
In all the years that Geri worked for me, she rarely made any mistakes. She was whip-smart, a term that is normally used to describe a person who is highly intelligent, quick-witted, and has the ability to quickly and succinctly respond to questions and situations that come up.
By the time she started working for me, she had mastered several office-related computer software programs. As a young secretary, she had learned how to take shorthand, so anytime I asked her to do something she was able to quickly write down notes of everything I said. In addition to her mastery of secretarial skills, she had strong interpersonal skills. She did great with my clients and the employees that she supervised. One of the primary reasons she was so good at dealing with other people was because she was genuinely concerned about the well-being of everyone.
She was also a fun person to be around because she was spontaneous, upbeat, enthusiastic, optimistic, generous, and warm. She generally treated everyone as a friend except for those who crossed her. She was proud of her Irish heritage and didn’t like it when someone tried to pull the wool over her eyes.
One day, after she had worked for me for several years, while I was trying to convince her about something she didn’t agree with, she suddenly blurted out, “Oh, don’t give me that Lebanese blarney!” The word “blarney” is an Irish term that means, “to charm, pleasantly flatter, or persuade.” She put the word “Lebanese” in front of the word “blarney” to add additional impact to her statement. She apparently thought that I was going way too far in trying to use my “Lebanese charm” to get her to agree on something that she wasn’t willing to agree to.
There’s an old Irish joke that I never had a chance to tell Geri: “Do you know what Irish Alzheimer’s is? It’s when you forget everything but the grudges.” If you’re offended by that joke, you shouldn’t be. I heard it from a full-blooded Irish man who was proud of the fact that he held grudges, and every Irish person I’ve ever told the joke to has laughed out loud in agreement.
There was one occasion in 1990 when I was assisting another lawyer with a lawsuit that involved the City of Peoria. The lawyer was from out of town and while he was also whip-smart, he had a habit of bullying and intimidating people when he wasn’t getting his way. Since we were working together on the case, the lawyer frequently had contact with Geri to assist in scheduling meetings and court hearings.
On one occasion, he asked Geri to take care of something for him. When he called back a few days later, she had not yet had the opportunity to handle the matter for him. He got upset with her and said, “Listen here, little lady. When I ask you to do something, I don’t want you making any excuses as to why you didn’t get it done. You need to just hop to it and get it done.”
In her own professional way, Geri made it clear to the attorney that she had other things of higher priority and that he had nothing to worry about. She told him that she would eventually get the task done without jeopardizing any of his plans.
I was not in the office when Geri talked to the attorney, but when I returned, she said, “No man talks to me that way! He has no idea who he’s dealing with!” From then on, anytime the attorney called or stopped by the office, while Geri behaved professionally in his presence, she was no longer willing to accommodate him in the same way that he had become accustomed to.
Years later, the “little (Irish) lady” still bristled every time she heard his name. And yes, it was okay with me that she held a grudge against him.
If Geri had any weakness, it was that when I was critical of something she had done (which was not very often), she took the criticism extremely personal, which caused her to sometimes ignore and attempt to escape from the situation rather than to face it head-on. I think that one of the reasons for this was because she had such high expectations of herself that when she was criticized, she tended to be too hard on herself and would then do what she could do to avoid discussing the matter any further.
Geri had a tremendous love for life, her family, and her friends. Her two daughters worked for my law firm while they were in high school and college. They were model employees who minded their own business and were always well-dressed and well-behaved. My six daughters also worked for my law firm while they were in high school and college. Geri was the first supervisor each of them had as paid employees, and they benefited greatly from her experience, wisdom, and kindness.
I’m sharing Geri’s life with you because I wanted to honor her and remind myself of what a great blessing she was to me, my employees, my children, and my clients. If I could pick 25 people that I’ve known throughout my life who could live healthy lives to the age of 150, Geri would be one of them. Why? Because she was down to earth, generous, kind, warmhearted, and had a tremendous love for life. The world would be a much better place if there were more people like Geri Abele.
Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her…
One day while you are driving home from work, you notice a man on the side of the road who appears to be injured. You pull over and check to see if he is all right. You quickly realize that he is in bad shape and is dying. He appears to be in his 70s. He is able to tell you that he was walking on the side of the road and was hit by a large truck that swerved off the road and hit him. The truck then drove away without stopping.
You grab your cell phone from your car and call 911. While you are waiting for help to arrive, the man tells you that his name is Tony, and that he was raised as a Catholic. You quickly take off the Brown Scapular that you always wear around your neck and place it around his neck, fearing that he is going to die before he gets to the hospital. You tell him that you are going to pray an act of contrition with him. You then slowly recite the prayer out loud, so he can follow along with you.
After you’re finished with the prayer, Tony asks you to pass a loving message on to his elderly wife and family. He then tells you that he wants to share two very important secrets with you before he dies. He tells you that both secrets have miraculous attributes. The first secret is an earthly secret and the second is a spiritual secret.
The first secret is the location of what he calls a miraculous cave. The cave he is referring to is the underground cave that’s located in the park. He tells you that if you look in his pocket, you will find a map to the cave. He tells you that if you follow the map, you will find an unlimited supply of gold in the cave. He says that he’s known about the cave since he was a teenager. He found out about it from a man who was on his deathbed.
The miraculous part of the cave is that every time you remove gold, the next time you return to the cave, the gold that you removed has not only been replaced, but there’s an additional amount of gold that has been added to the supply that was previously there. For example, if you remove 10 pounds of gold from the cave, when you return there will be 12 pounds of gold in the place where you removed the 10 pounds.
Tony warns you that you will be tempted to share the secret with members of your family, knowing that the gold will never run out. He warns you that most people are not ready to handle the riches that they would be able to acquire from the cave. He also tells you that if too many people learn about the cave, the government will find out about it and close it down.
Tony then tells you the second secret, after which he asks you to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet with him. Before you are finished praying the chaplet, Tony passes away.
The day after Tony dies, you meet with his wife and family to pass on his message of love. You then get in your car and follow the map to the underground cave. You are shocked to find out that everything Tony told you was true. You load up your car with gold, take it home, and hide it in your basement.
The next day you go back to the cave and the gold that you took the previous day has been replaced with more gold than you loaded into your car. The only person you tell about the miraculous cave is your wife, who assures you that she will never tell anyone.
Over the course of the next five years, it’s as though you are living in paradise. You and your wife are able to provide your young children with everything that they could ever want. Each year, you take your family on a new “vacation of a lifetime.” On the five-year anniversary of the day that you learned the secret from the dying man, you are involved in the same type of accident that he was involved in. As a result of your injuries, both of your legs have to be amputated. You quickly realize that all the gold in the world cannot help you get your legs back.
You are angry, depressed, and resentful. How could this happen to you? You had everything going for you. You and your family were set for life. For the next year, you suffer under the torment of what could have been. You have nightmares of the accident that ruined your life.
Because of your despair, your wife insists that you begin attending daily Mass with her. The first day that you go to daily Mass, the priest announces that the day is October 7, the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. Upon hearing the priest’s announcement, for the first time since Tony told you the two secrets, you remember the second secret. Tears start streaming down your face because when Tony told you the second secret, he emphasized that before you took advantage of the first secret, you were required to put the first secret into practice.
What was the second secret? It was what Tony called “the best-kept secret in the Catholic Church.” Tony started out by telling you about the miraculous power that the Blessed Mother was given to influence our daily lives, which is triggered by the recitation of the daily Rosary. He told you that if you remained in the state of grace and prayed the Rosary every day while doing your best to meditate on its mysteries, the Mother of God would arrange for an abundance of additional grace to flow to you every day from Almighty God.
He emphasized that the grace that you received would work the same way that the gold worked — that each time you received grace as a result of the intercession of the Blessed Mother, like the gold in the cave, the grace that was sent to you would be replaced with more grace than you received.
He said that each subsequent day, you would not only receive the same amount of grace that you received the previous day, but you would also receive the additional grace that was added when the previous day’s grace was replaced. He said that as the grace increased each day, it would begin to flow through you to your wife, your children, your parents, and your siblings. Tony emphasized the fact that the cumulative grace that you would receive each day would be far superior to the material gold that you would be able to collect from the cave.
After your experience at Mass and your recollection of the second miraculous secret, you make a promise to God that you will do your best to attend Mass every day and that you and your family will pray a Rosary every day. Over time, your anger, depression, and despair dissipate and you begin to have hope again for your future and the future of your family. You also begin to see the extraordinary effects of the great grace that flows to you and your family each day as a result of this new daily prayer ritual. You never get your legs back, but you end up with something much more valuable — a guarantee that you and your family will eventually spend eternity with God, His mother, and all the angels and saints.
Although there is no such thing as a miraculous cave, the secret of the Rosary is genuine and real. Miraculous graces really will descend upon you and through you to the members of your family when you develop a relationship with the Mother of God by praying her daily Rosary.
I was fortunate to have a mother who taught me the secret of the Rosary when I was a boy. Although I didn’t put the secret into practice until I was out of college, I can tell you from what I have observed in my own life and the lives of the members of my family who have implemented this secret, that it works exactly the way I just described it. If you are skeptical about this miraculous prayer, all I ask is that you suspend your disbelief for one year and follow the secret for the next 365 days. I can guarantee you that you will experience the great power of the Rosary as well as the Blessed Mother’s eagerness to assist you and your family.
He told me he was at the Peoria police station being questioned by two detectives. He had been picked up at his house an hour earlier by police officers who arrived at the house in two squad cars, with their lights flashing. He said that his wife and children were horrified when the police officers put handcuffs on him and hauled him away.
Jake told me that he had answered a few general questions but then he got worried, and told the detectives that he wanted to talk to his attorney before answering any more questions. I told Jake not to answer any more questions, and that I would be at the police station within 10 minutes. When I arrived, I was escorted to the interrogation room and was left alone to talk to Jake. He told me he was being accused of assisting a woman with covering up a serious crime.
At that time, Jake was in his mid-40s and was unemployed. He was also addicted to cocaine. His wife had a good-paying job, and they still had young children at home. During our short conversation, I learned that Jake had been having an affair with the woman with whom he was accused of covering up a crime.
I stepped out of the room and told the detectives that Jake was not going to answer any more of their questions. I also told them that he had not done anything wrong other than hanging out and carrying on a relationship with a woman who had allegedly committed a crime. To my surprise, they let him go. They apparently didn’t believe they had enough evidence to charge him with a crime.
I drove Jake home and had a long conversation with him about how he knew better than to cheat on his wife. He had been raised as a Catholic but had been out of the church for several years. I told him that he needed to get his act together, or he was going to lose his wife and children. He listened to me and acted as though he appreciated my concern.
About a year after my experience with Jake, his mother called me — I’ll call her Jane — and asked me to prepare a will for her. Her husband had died several years earlier and because she was in her 70s, she wanted to make sure her affairs were in order. I had previously assisted Jane with another legal matter and I knew that she was a devout Catholic.
When we met to discuss her will, Jane expressed grave concern about Jake. She did not know anything about the incident with the police department. She had other grown children, but Jake had been a problem for her ever since he was a teenager. I asked her if she prayed a daily rosary. She was ashamed to admit that she did not pray the rosary every day, because she had been taught as a child that the rosary should be a part of her everyday routine.
Her reaction to my question surprised me. I have rarely encountered anyone who has been truly embarrassed to say that they we’re not praying a daily rosary. Most people simply recite a litany of excuses as to why they can’t get to their daily prayers. I told Jane that the best thing she could do for her son and the rest of her family was to pray a rosary every day and ask the Mother of God to watch over, guide, and protect them.
A few months passed by before I got around to preparing the will. Jane then came to my office to sign the will. While my assistant was making copies of the signed will, I asked Jane if she was praying her rosary every day. She told me that she had not missed a day since our initial appointment.
A couple of years after I prepared the will for Jane, I ran into Jake at a social event. I had not seen him since the night I had picked him up from the police station. I asked him how he was doing. He told me that after I dropped him off at his home, his wife started asking questions. He said that he eventually admitted to her that he was having an affair. After that, everything went downhill for him.
He said that things got so bad, one evening he loaded a pistol that he had hidden away, and went for a long walk. He had decided that he was going to end his life. He walked over to a wooded area several blocks from where he lived. He then lifted the gun to his head. He couldn’t explain to me what happened next. He said that it was as though an invisible force stopped him from pulling the trigger. As much as he wanted to kill himself, he was unable to complete the act. After a while, he put the gun back into his pocket, walked home, and went to bed.
About six months after Jake told me about his experience with the gun, his mom called and scheduled an appointment to revise her will. I met with her and discussed the changes she wanted in the will. I then asked how her family was doing. She told me that she was still very worried about Jake, but that he seemed to be doing better. I asked her if she was praying her rosary every day, and she said, “I don’t just pray one rosary, I pray three rosaries every day. I want to make sure that the Blessed Mother protects my family.”
Around the same time that I assisted Jane with her will, I had another devout Catholic mother who called me to discuss a legal matter. I had talked to her about the Catholic faith on a few previous occasions, and she had told me that in addition to attending daily Mass and praying a daily rosary, she had consecrated herself to Jesus through Mary, by using the process outlined by St. Louis De Montfort in his book True Devotion to Mary.
After we discussed her legal matter, she told me about her college-educated son who lived in another state. She said that at one point he had lost his job and broke up with his girlfriend, which caused him to suffer from severe depression. She said that she had talked to him periodically over the phone and after one of her phone calls, she had a sense that he was so bad off that he was going to commit suicide.
Her feeling was so strong that she told her husband that she had no other choice but to buy a plane ticket, so she could fly out to see him. And that’s exactly what she did. She said that when she arrived at his house, she felt a darkness and despair that she had never experienced. She ended up staying at her son’s house for more than a month. When she returned home, she felt as though her prayers had been answered and that his despair had subsided. Shortly thereafter, some positive things started happening for her son. She told me that she believed that the Mother of God had intervened and our Lord had performed a miracle on behalf of her son.
Within the past year, another one of my clients told me that her teenage daughter had been suicidal and had taken steps to plan how she was going to kill herself. The mother said that her daughter had been repeatedly bullied at school and was having gender identity issues. Things got worse when her daughter moved out of her house and into a house with a couple of guys who were older than her. Within a week of moving, the daughter was involved in an automobile accident that caused damage to some property. She fled the scene of the accident and was later arrested. After her arrest, she called her mother and asked her to come to the police station to pick her up. The daughter subsequently moved home and admitted that she needed help. Her mother then got her into counseling.
When I asked the mother if she was praying her daily rosary — something that I had convinced her to do several years ago — she told me that she had been faithfully praying her rosary every day. While the situation with her daughter had improved, her daughter still had a long way to go, but the mother was certain that the Blessed Virgin Mary was watching over her family and would see to it that everything worked out for them.
Last week I wrote that there are three specific things that you can do to guarantee that during the last 60 minutes of life for you and each member of your immediate family (your spouse, children, parents, and siblings), your souls will not be lost for all eternity. Doing those three things also protects you and each member of your immediate family from ever committing suicide.
As I pointed out last week, the three things are: (1) Remain in the state of grace by following the rules of the Catholic Church; (2) Pray a rosary every day while doing your best to meditate on its mysteries; and (3) Consecrate yourself to Jesus through Mary by using a consecration process such as the one provided by St. Louis De Montfort in his book True Devotion to Mary, or the one provided by Fr. Michael Gaitley in his book 33 Days to Morning Glory: A Do-It-Yourself Retreat in Preparation for Marian Consecration.
I know for certain that the mother who traveled to be with her son had put all three of the above-mentioned things into practice. I didn’t have the presence of mind to ask the other two mothers if they had made the consecration, but I do know that they were devout Catholics who prayed their rosary every day.
I’ll have a few more things to say about this topic next week.
Three years after the Donny and Marie show ended (1982), Marie married her first husband. The two divorced in 1985, and she married her second husband a year later. She divorced her second husband in 2007. During her two marriages, Marie had three biological children and adopted five children. On February 26, 2010, her 18-year-old son, Michael, committed suicide by jumping off the eighth-floor balcony of his apartment in Los Angeles.
During an interview several months after Michael’s death, Marie disclosed that Michael struggled from depression and had previously attempted to take his own life. She said that after his initial failed suicide attempt, he promised her that he would “never do anything like that again.” She also lamented, “People say things like, ‘Well, at least you have seven more children.’ No, I have eight children. My heart will never put anybody else in that place but Michael.”
I previously wrote about the suicide of the 27-year-old son of Rick and Kay Warren, the co-founders of Saddleback Church, an evangelical church in California. Their son had suffered from mental illness for most of his life. On April 5, 2013, he died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Kay later told a reporter, “A lot of it’s a blur. I just know I hit the ground and laid on the ground for hours, sobbing… I will never get over losing my son. I will never stop missing him.”
There is nothing more devastating to a mother than the suicide of a son or a daughter.
We know from the Gospel of Mark that during our Lord’s public life, He was approached by a synagogue leader who told Him that the leader’s 12-year-old daughter was “at the point of death.” He then said to our Lord, “Please come lay your hands on her that she may get well and live.” Mark 5:21-24
Prior to arriving at the synagogue leader’s house, our Lord was told that the girl had already died. He still went to the house with some of His apostles and the girl’s father. When they arrived at the house, our Lord entered the dead girl’s room, held her hand, and told her to rise. The girl immediately woke up and started walking around. Our Lord told the girl’s father to give her something to eat. He then gave strict orders to everyone who was present not to tell anyone what had happened. Mark 5:35-43
Raising the young girl from the dead was not our Lord’s first miracle. His first public miracle was described in the Gospel of John:
On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”
That power would be the ability to see right through a person, directly into his or her soul. If I had that ability, I would be able to immediately determine whether the person was honest or dishonest, sane or insane, pure or evil. I wouldn’t have to rely on my limited human abilities to determine whether it was prudent to develop a personal or business relationship with the person.
This superpower would probably be more of a curse than a blessing because I would be able to see all the faults and defects of everyone I came into contact with, which would likely cause me great distress.
I thought about that particular superpower a couple of weeks ago when I read some comments that were related to my article about the contractor (“Ray”) who had used gaslighting in an attempt to get me to agree to pay for additional services. After I wrote the article, I received comments from two men who wanted to know why I decided to do business with someone who used questionable methods on me to try to sell me additional services.
There was a time in America when you could generally trust most of the people you came into contact with. The time I’m referring to was when most Americans were raised on the Judeo-Christian values that our country was founded upon. Prior to the 1960s, children who were enrolled in the public school system were taught the Ten Commandments.
They were also taught the Christian virtues of honesty, humility, temperance, respect, moderation, self-control, discipline, integrity, compassion, gratitude, kindness, patience, perseverance, contentment, confidence, self-respect, loyalty, self-reliance, resourcefulness, order, frugality, sincerity, cleanliness, chastity, and purity.
Unfortunately, because of the secularization of our culture and the complete abandonment of the teaching of Christian virtues, there is now a high probability that a majority of people you come into contact with do not believe in or practice the same morals and virtues that you and I believe in and practice.
When President Reagan was elected in 1980, he was the first president in the history of our country who had been divorced and remarried. Thirty-six years later, the American people elected a president who had been divorced twice and was on his third marriage. Until 1980, it was impossible for a divorced person to be elected president of the United States, because the majority of voters felt that such a man lacked the moral character to lead our great nation.
Unfortunately, we can no longer assume that the people we meet are honorable, trustworthy, or in possession of high moral standards. To protect ourselves, we must at least keep in mind that when we meet a person, he or she cannot be trusted. But if we decide to adopt this attitude toward everyone we meet, we can easily become cynical and paranoid, which could easily end up influencing the way we treat the people we currently have relationships with.
Last year, when I found out that my roof had been damaged by hail, I called four roofing companies for estimates. The four men who came to my house to do estimates appeared to be knowledgeable and honest. Three of the men provided straightforward estimates that were based on replacing the shingles on my roof with the same type of shingles that had been previously used.
When the fourth man came to my house, he noticed that there were fields on the north and east sides of my house. He asked if we had problems with high winds coming across the fields. I answered yes and told him that we previously had some shingles replaced because of wind damage. He then proceeded to tell me that the only way he would do the job was if I was willing to invest in higher-quality, wind-resistant shingles that are manufactured by Owens Corning Corporation.
Ray warned me that his price was going to be higher than what the insurance company was willing to pay. He said that if I insisted on choosing the same type of shingles that were on my house, he was not willing to do the job, because it could harm the reputation of his company. He didn’t want to be blamed at a later time for using the wrong shingles on the house.
Ray also insisted that I replace the gutters on my house with wider, deeper gutters. He pointed out an area on my patio that had settled because rainwater had repeatedly flowed over on one of the gutters, which caused pooling on the concrete. Over time, the pooling caused the concrete to settle a couple of inches.
After meeting with Ray, I read the online reviews for his company. I also checked out some of the work his company had done for other homeowners. From the best that I could tell, his company had a good reputation and did high-quality work.*
I did lose some confidence in him when he pulled the gaslighting routine on me, but I wasn’t surprised at how aggressive he was, because he was aggressive with me from the beginning when he insisted that I use different shingles and replace the gutters.
My decision to hire Ray’s company was not difficult, because I was confident that I had found the right company to do the job. But he did end up hurting himself when he engaged in what I considered unethical behavior. If he had not used his gaslighting methods on me, I would have been willing to post a favorable online review and recommend his company to other people.
I will say that over the years, I have developed a high level of confidence in my ability to make the right decisions when it comes to dealing with various individuals I may not be able to completely trust. I can be confident because I know from faith and experience that the Mother of God always guides me in all my decisions.
She consistently watches over me because I pray her Rosary every day. And I mentally call out to her several times each day and ask for her assistance in helping me with my decisions and my work. I still make mistakes, but ever since I started praying the daily Rosary — more than 40 years ago — I’ve never made a mistake that has been so severe that it caused me to suffer from any grave consequences. I’ve always been able to recover from and benefit from my mistakes.
Most people don’t think about or understand how important it is to develop and maintain a daily, dynamic relationship with the Mother of God. They don’t realize that she actually does have the power to see through people, directly into their souls. She knows exactly what I’m up against when I’m dealing with someone, and she is willing and able to give me the guidance that I need to make the right decisions.
None of us will ever have the power to see directly into people’s souls. But we do have access to someone who not only has that power, but loves us and has a burning desire to help us in everything that we do. Before she can help us, though, we have to reach out to her every day with her preferred method of communication — the holy Rosary.
*Ray’s company completed the job last week and did a great job on the shingles and the gutters.
Last week, I wrote about how good fiction writers develop stories by incorporating five milestones into the plot of every story. Here are the five milestones and where they can be found in the stories of Superman and Jesus:
Milestone 1: The Introduction – Introduces the main characters and provides important background information about them. It also sets the scene for the rest of the story, including which one of the characters is going to end up being the hero.